Welcome!

   It's amazing to me how God is not only holding my hand but has also brought a person into my life who through her own journey is leading me through my journey, teaching me how to go through this process. 

   My desperation for healing and wholeness has taken me to a quiet place, a place where total surrender to God is the only way.  Surrender is not a word most people like to hear, let alone do, many like to be in control or feel as if they are in control of the circumstances of their life.  For me giving up control means gaining control, and gaining control means I will be free to be who I was born to be. That's the best way I can describe everything I am feeling.

   I'm relying solely on the process of this journey, believing by total surrender at the end of my journey, I will be whole.  Although I'm going through one process, it leads to many areas of my life. It's hard to explain.  But I can see how the process of this journey will bring me to wholeness!  It's a matter of doing just as I am doing, going through the process.

Thanks For Reading! 

Blessings! 

Tammie

Welcome!

The road I'm on in the healing process of my journey is leading me to write another book.

This book will require me to examine who I am in Christ. To me, that means what the finished work on the Cross of Jesus is all about: being redeemed, being saved, and what all of that really means.

I truly don't believe I have ever been completely whole, but I will be. The only way I know to go is the way I'm being led. All week I've been struggling, asking God for help. I believe He (God) wants me to find out who I am in Him, and that has reminded me of a book that was already in my heart to write, it all just fit.

As I have stated in a previous blog I was raised under hellfire and brimstone, not a loving doctrine, or one that would portray God the Father as loving or kind. So, I need to find out for myself what His Love, His Grace, and His Mercy is all about; to receive it, and be made whole. 

Thanks For Reading!

Blessings!

Tammie

Welcome!

Thank you to all who have commented on my blogs!

   Throughout my life, I could not understand why anyone would put up with certain things that I now would define as abuse. It simply made no sense to me. And then, the light bulb moment happened.

   It's interesting "if that is the correct verb" but hard to explain how one can love someone who's abusive, be it, family or friend. Or how someone could stay with an abusive spouse, partner, whatever the case.  But now, I get it! That was a sad but humbling time in my life.

   The day I had the light bulb moment was a few years ago now, it took me a while to digest the reality of my life.  I was told by a good friend "whom I adopted as a sister" that she has seen a few women around my age going through menopause who decide not to put up with being miss treated anymore, that possibly could have helped the light bulb moment.  None the less, I had it.

   I have never wanted to be placed in the category of being a statistic, so I am going to take this situation moving forward to help others while helping myself.

   The healing process that will break me away from the inner turmoil residing in me and heal me so I will be whole begins with my relationship with my Father God, His Spirit and Jesus finished work on the cross.
   I know what it's like to feel the sweet presence of His peace in my life, and the arms of  His strength surrounding me.  However, having been raised a preachers kid, my dad was taught under the hellfire and brimstone doctrine, therefore, that is the doctrine I grew up in. 
   I was taught going to movies, wearing makeup and ear piercings among other things were all sin and I would go to hell for them. He knew no better.
    About eight years ago I needed to find out who God was for myself.  I no longer would just take what was preached or what an elder said as Gospel truth, I needed to see it in the Bible for myself and let God talk to me Himself.  I needed to know for myself, I needed to hear from God for me which meant reading the Bible, praying and letting God talk to me, instead of just believing what others told me He said. I am teachable, but I also have learned to use wisdom and discernment.

   So, how do I allow this process? The only way I know is through giving it all to God, prayer, and His word. Please note, this is not fictional, this is actually the process I'm going through and the way I'm getting there. This is my life! For Real.

   I know I need to forgive myself for decisions made that affected my life and those around me. And I need to forgive and release others from any wrong done to me.

   I was talking with a couple of my kids about these blogs which led to another conversation.  As I left the conversation on the way to my next destination, I cried and prayed. I told God "I don't want to cry anymore, I don't want to hurt anymore, I want to be healed". I want to be open about the past if needed, but without the tears and my heart hurting.

I was reminded of a play the church I attended years ago used to put on concerning the places Jesus shed His blood which led me to a scripture and a quote from that scripture that say's " The spear was thrust through Jesus side, showing that He died from a broken heart, to heal my broken heart.

Thank For Reading! 

Blessings! 

Tammie

Welcome!

Looking back, I ponder “What has my life’s journey taught me thus far?”

   My answer, to not allow anyone to control my life. It’s ok to be me! To laugh and cry, to go through hard times without feeling the need to get over, or suppress my feelings based on how others think I should act, feel, or heal.  I’ve learned to dress and wear my hair the way I choose so I can feel good about me. That I’m entitled to my opinion and to speak my opinion if I choose to.  I have found I can’t just take someone's word about situations as gospel truth, but to use my own judgement weighing the situations for myself.

I also have learned to do the things that bring joy to my life, things that fulfill me and causes me happiness. To walk away from anger, not allowing someone else's issues to control me or bring me down. I’ve learned to confront belittling, not allowing it to take root in my heart knowing that one’s spoken opinion of me does not define who I am.

I will no longer allow anyone to place blame on me were blame is not due.  Also, recognizing I am not responsible for anyone’s happiness, nor is anyone responsible for mine.  

Life has taught me that man’s negative opinion of my talents does not mean they're bad! It means it’s their opinion.

This journey has taught me that I don't need to try and change who I am to please others. People will like me for me, or they won’t.

I will not compromise who I am or my beliefs. I will however be still, waiting for the correct time to share my beliefs.

My journey has taught me signs of abuse, and how to be sensitive to the needs of the abused.

As I share my journey with others it’s taught me that others have already gone through, or are currently going through as well.

This journey has changed me.  I’m wiser, stronger. Self-confident (even though I have a way’s to go).  It has humbled me. It’s helped me to look deeper into issues, and to understand the underlying factors.

Life has helped me to see that if words do not sound right, or off, that I need to look deeper, and acknowledge the red flag. Going by my gut, it’s not wrong. To not second guess my decisions based on the opinions of others.

I have been taught many life lessons through this journey.  Some that I mentioned are a bit vague, but rest assured I know exactly what they are. It is my passion to take the lessons I have learned, and use them to help others, helping them to acknowledge the red flags as well. In some cases encouraging those who are abused to run the other way, and not to look back!

Thanks for Reading!

Blessings!

Tammie