Welcome!
Since my last publishing on 3-16-18, I was pondering what I wrote in that blog and would like to piggyback off of it, going further into the reasons why I hold the belief in God that I have.
According to the stats on my blog page, although many are reading my publishings, not everyone reads the same publishing, some go back in the archives. Therefore, I am going to reiterate a few previous publishings.
I was raised in the hellfire and brimstone doctrine, therefore, I was afraid of God the father. I was told if Jesus came back and I was in the movies I would go to hell, or if I wore makeup or got my ears pierced I was sinning and to me, that meant I was going to hell. Everything was legalistic, bondage plain and simple. In my late teens and early twenties, the stuff I was being taught just didn't make sense to me anymore. Two and two were not adding up to four, what I was taught didn't jive with a God that was supposed to be love.
I was raised in manipulation, therefore, to me it was normal. Not to manipulate, but to be manipulated. Although I did not recognize it as such.
Gods word states in Ephesians 6:12 that "our fight is not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and against powers, and the rulers of the darkness of this world, and against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Modern English Version
I believe this to mean that the manipulation I was raised with was a spirit. Perhaps another time I will share how I am convinced this is true, from personal experience.
Those things in my life along with what was normal to me put me on a path of being abused, it was sadly normal to me. It started in my early teens and led to adulthood. What I thought were love and protection was manipulation, control, and abuse.
Fast forward several years, although I went through a situation in life that in reality was my worst nightmare, even that didn't prepare me for yet another situation that would shake my world to the core. It was through that 7.0 earthquake of life that I found the God that is Love and is indeed my joy, peace, and strength.
I have found His word to be truth, not reality, but truth! I can trust Him! He has never lied to me, He's held me together all of my life, keeping me sane! When you go through a life of mental and or emotional abuse, that abuse plays a mind game on your mind, it doesn't mean you are crazy, in fact, it's the abuser that has the problem. Sexual abuse, in my opinion, is also mental abuse. The questions that go through the mind of the one being abuse can be tormenting, or the words the abuser speaks in the ear of the one(s) they are abusing are mentally abusive. In any case, I believe it still goes back to Ephesians 6:12. In my case, I started always second guessing myself in almost every way because seemly everything I did was wrong, I could do no right and if I did it was because I did exactly as I was told. At times, even that wasn't good enough.
Going back to the 7.0, during this LONG season of my life, I would read Gods WORD for myself learning to hear the sound of His voice. All of my life I heard Gods word being quoted, (that I am grateful for) because I had it in my memory, but I needed to get it in my heart so the enemy of my soul could not make me believe Gods word wasn't true. To me it isn't just His word, it is HIS WORD! He told me He would do it, therefore HE WILL DO IT! HE SAID IT AND HIS WORD IS GOOD!
From what I understand, having not seen the movie, it's kind of like the godfather if he said he would take care of someone and protect them that's what he'll do and anyone that comes against that person or person's will have to go through him. (I have your back, don't worry)
I would read His word and let it penetrate into my heart/spirit. His word says He cannot lie so I held Him to it concerning my situation, shutting everyone's voice out, even my husbands. My Heavenly Father took a seemingly impossible situation and turned it around. Did it take years? yes. But through this season of my life, in the 7.0 earthquake, my Heavenly Father taught me to trust Him, and that He loves me and won't let me down. No other power can do what He did. I have come to know Him as a God of love, peace joy and strength. And, a God of His WORD. When I say His WORD, I'm talking about truth, integrity, and honor.
Holy Spirit is my teacher, He taught me what I had experienced most of my life was abuse. Usually, people that are being abused either don't recognize their situation as abuse, don't know how to get out or feel as if they deserve what is happening to them because they are told it's all their fault. Everything seems to be their fault. They are told that so many times they start to believe it themselves and that they don't deserve better.
Jeremiah 29:11 reads "For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans for peace and not evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Too many people are living under Gods intended plan for them. I heard Jeremiah 29:11 for the first time about 2-3 years ago, my thought was, "that scripture is for everyone but me". Even though my Heavenly Father showed me in SO many ways that He loves me because I was looking at the situation in my life instead of looking to God for my joy and strength I felt stuck, lacking hope. God once again reached into my situation and gave me peace, assuring me that that scripture was for me also.
Speaking for me personally, the stuff I have been through although it may not be as bad as what others have gone through had it not been for the grace and love of God I would not have made it through in my right mind. I'm so thankful my gut/heart, (Holy Spirit) kept assuring me what was being said to me wasn't normal. The belittling, put-downs, etc.. wasn't normal. With Gods help, through His love, His word and the gentle guidance of Holy Spirit, I went from believing that I wasn't good enough in almost every way to now realizing when He created me he created a masterpiece, then broke the mold.
We all have our own special gifts and callings that no one can clone. Why be jealous? Focus on the gift/talent God has given you, it will make room for you. You are one of a kind. Just as you don't have the same talent as someone else, no one has the talent you. Pursue your passion, you have it for a reason.
There are many teachings about the key to this or that and I'm not putting down any of them, in fact, Holy Spirit has given me bits and pieces from several teachings to help me along my journey.
I know the following four keys have helped me on my journey, surrendering to God, (which sounds like a dirty word to many, even the church/Christians), forgiveness (some feel by forgiving it means what the person did was ok, but in reality, it frees the person that forgives) walking in love, (not natural love but supernatural love that comes from God) and, obedience (another dirty word to some, however, God knows the end from the beginning and listening to his guidence can save us a world of hurt and I have found it opens doors).
Those are four keys although not popular to many are the keys that have helped me go from where I used to be, to where I am today. Do I have a way to go? Yes, but aren't we all on a journey? has anyone arrived? A pastor whose ministry I used to be under and who I highly respect has said on many occasions, "we are all in various stages of repair", I find that statement to be SO TRUE!
In closing I would like to say, I know what I have been through and looking back I can say without a shadow of a doubt it was the hand of God in my life that has brought me through. By His grace He has made me stronger and bolder by far then I could have imagined I would be. People that know me well knowing only a portion of what I have endured but seen the timidity in my life tell me that I am not the same person. I have identified the spirit that has tried to destroy my life. Again, I go back to Ephesians 6:12.
I have surrendered my life to God allowing Him to take the reigns and use the brokenness of my life for His glory! Every tear I've cried will water the garden of healing for others. In Jesus name, Amen!
If you would like to Subscribe to my blog and you will automatically receive an email of my blogs as I publish them weekly.
For those of you who are new to my publishings, I wrote and self-published a book titled, ~So Thankful! Life Behind The Posts~ Between the covers I wrote about the daily struggles I faced and how leaning on God gave me strength, recognizing Him as the only Hope I had while discovering His faithfulness in my life.
To purchase a copy of ~So Thankful! Life Behind The Posts~, you can contact me directly through my email listed below. The purchase price for a paperback copy is $12.99 plus $2.65 shipping and handling. For a digital download please see my website also listed below. If you live outside the United States please go to my website for links to Amazon for digital down or Create Space for a print copy. My website address is;
lifebehindtheposts.weebly.com
To Contact Me, my email address is,sothankful.tcp@gmail.com your message may go to junk mail, to ensure it will not be deleted, next to subject please type in ~I read your blog, or, Beauty Within~, something letting me know to open it. Thanks
To book me for speaking engagements please contact me at;
sothankful.tcp@gmail.com
Again, next to subject please type in,~ I read your blog~.
Thank you all so much, I appreciate you all.
Blessed beyond measure!
Tammie
Since my last publishing on 3-16-18, I was pondering what I wrote in that blog and would like to piggyback off of it, going further into the reasons why I hold the belief in God that I have.
According to the stats on my blog page, although many are reading my publishings, not everyone reads the same publishing, some go back in the archives. Therefore, I am going to reiterate a few previous publishings.
I was raised in the hellfire and brimstone doctrine, therefore, I was afraid of God the father. I was told if Jesus came back and I was in the movies I would go to hell, or if I wore makeup or got my ears pierced I was sinning and to me, that meant I was going to hell. Everything was legalistic, bondage plain and simple. In my late teens and early twenties, the stuff I was being taught just didn't make sense to me anymore. Two and two were not adding up to four, what I was taught didn't jive with a God that was supposed to be love.
I was raised in manipulation, therefore, to me it was normal. Not to manipulate, but to be manipulated. Although I did not recognize it as such.
Gods word states in Ephesians 6:12 that "our fight is not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and against powers, and the rulers of the darkness of this world, and against spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Modern English Version
I believe this to mean that the manipulation I was raised with was a spirit. Perhaps another time I will share how I am convinced this is true, from personal experience.
Those things in my life along with what was normal to me put me on a path of being abused, it was sadly normal to me. It started in my early teens and led to adulthood. What I thought were love and protection was manipulation, control, and abuse.
Fast forward several years, although I went through a situation in life that in reality was my worst nightmare, even that didn't prepare me for yet another situation that would shake my world to the core. It was through that 7.0 earthquake of life that I found the God that is Love and is indeed my joy, peace, and strength.
I have found His word to be truth, not reality, but truth! I can trust Him! He has never lied to me, He's held me together all of my life, keeping me sane! When you go through a life of mental and or emotional abuse, that abuse plays a mind game on your mind, it doesn't mean you are crazy, in fact, it's the abuser that has the problem. Sexual abuse, in my opinion, is also mental abuse. The questions that go through the mind of the one being abuse can be tormenting, or the words the abuser speaks in the ear of the one(s) they are abusing are mentally abusive. In any case, I believe it still goes back to Ephesians 6:12. In my case, I started always second guessing myself in almost every way because seemly everything I did was wrong, I could do no right and if I did it was because I did exactly as I was told. At times, even that wasn't good enough.
Going back to the 7.0, during this LONG season of my life, I would read Gods WORD for myself learning to hear the sound of His voice. All of my life I heard Gods word being quoted, (that I am grateful for) because I had it in my memory, but I needed to get it in my heart so the enemy of my soul could not make me believe Gods word wasn't true. To me it isn't just His word, it is HIS WORD! He told me He would do it, therefore HE WILL DO IT! HE SAID IT AND HIS WORD IS GOOD!
From what I understand, having not seen the movie, it's kind of like the godfather if he said he would take care of someone and protect them that's what he'll do and anyone that comes against that person or person's will have to go through him. (I have your back, don't worry)
I would read His word and let it penetrate into my heart/spirit. His word says He cannot lie so I held Him to it concerning my situation, shutting everyone's voice out, even my husbands. My Heavenly Father took a seemingly impossible situation and turned it around. Did it take years? yes. But through this season of my life, in the 7.0 earthquake, my Heavenly Father taught me to trust Him, and that He loves me and won't let me down. No other power can do what He did. I have come to know Him as a God of love, peace joy and strength. And, a God of His WORD. When I say His WORD, I'm talking about truth, integrity, and honor.
Holy Spirit is my teacher, He taught me what I had experienced most of my life was abuse. Usually, people that are being abused either don't recognize their situation as abuse, don't know how to get out or feel as if they deserve what is happening to them because they are told it's all their fault. Everything seems to be their fault. They are told that so many times they start to believe it themselves and that they don't deserve better.
Jeremiah 29:11 reads "For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans for peace and not evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Too many people are living under Gods intended plan for them. I heard Jeremiah 29:11 for the first time about 2-3 years ago, my thought was, "that scripture is for everyone but me". Even though my Heavenly Father showed me in SO many ways that He loves me because I was looking at the situation in my life instead of looking to God for my joy and strength I felt stuck, lacking hope. God once again reached into my situation and gave me peace, assuring me that that scripture was for me also.
Speaking for me personally, the stuff I have been through although it may not be as bad as what others have gone through had it not been for the grace and love of God I would not have made it through in my right mind. I'm so thankful my gut/heart, (Holy Spirit) kept assuring me what was being said to me wasn't normal. The belittling, put-downs, etc.. wasn't normal. With Gods help, through His love, His word and the gentle guidance of Holy Spirit, I went from believing that I wasn't good enough in almost every way to now realizing when He created me he created a masterpiece, then broke the mold.
We all have our own special gifts and callings that no one can clone. Why be jealous? Focus on the gift/talent God has given you, it will make room for you. You are one of a kind. Just as you don't have the same talent as someone else, no one has the talent you. Pursue your passion, you have it for a reason.
There are many teachings about the key to this or that and I'm not putting down any of them, in fact, Holy Spirit has given me bits and pieces from several teachings to help me along my journey.
I know the following four keys have helped me on my journey, surrendering to God, (which sounds like a dirty word to many, even the church/Christians), forgiveness (some feel by forgiving it means what the person did was ok, but in reality, it frees the person that forgives) walking in love, (not natural love but supernatural love that comes from God) and, obedience (another dirty word to some, however, God knows the end from the beginning and listening to his guidence can save us a world of hurt and I have found it opens doors).
Those are four keys although not popular to many are the keys that have helped me go from where I used to be, to where I am today. Do I have a way to go? Yes, but aren't we all on a journey? has anyone arrived? A pastor whose ministry I used to be under and who I highly respect has said on many occasions, "we are all in various stages of repair", I find that statement to be SO TRUE!
In closing I would like to say, I know what I have been through and looking back I can say without a shadow of a doubt it was the hand of God in my life that has brought me through. By His grace He has made me stronger and bolder by far then I could have imagined I would be. People that know me well knowing only a portion of what I have endured but seen the timidity in my life tell me that I am not the same person. I have identified the spirit that has tried to destroy my life. Again, I go back to Ephesians 6:12.
I have surrendered my life to God allowing Him to take the reigns and use the brokenness of my life for His glory! Every tear I've cried will water the garden of healing for others. In Jesus name, Amen!
If you would like to Subscribe to my blog and you will automatically receive an email of my blogs as I publish them weekly.
For those of you who are new to my publishings, I wrote and self-published a book titled, ~So Thankful! Life Behind The Posts~ Between the covers I wrote about the daily struggles I faced and how leaning on God gave me strength, recognizing Him as the only Hope I had while discovering His faithfulness in my life.
To purchase a copy of ~So Thankful! Life Behind The Posts~, you can contact me directly through my email listed below. The purchase price for a paperback copy is $12.99 plus $2.65 shipping and handling. For a digital download please see my website also listed below. If you live outside the United States please go to my website for links to Amazon for digital down or Create Space for a print copy. My website address is;
lifebehindtheposts.weebly.com
To book me for speaking engagements please contact me at;
sothankful.tcp@gmail.com
Again, next to subject please type in,~ I read your blog~.
Thank you all so much, I appreciate you all.
Blessed beyond measure!
Tammie
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